Today we have another Christmas tune, and this one qualifies as one of the most unintentionally (or could it have been somewhat intentional?) funny Christmas songs I have in my collection. It’s the Ray Conniff singers, from Conniff’s 1962 album, We Wish You a Merry Christmas, doing “Deck the Halls.” As soon as you listen to it, I think you’ll get why I added “Jack Nicholson” to the post title.

From the moment this song begins, we get a truly crazed-sounding guy shouting out, “Hey, gang, come over here, we’re going to decorate the Christmas tree!” If the response to this is as enthusiastic as it sounds, I think the “gang” in question just might be the Manson gang. Then, moments later, it gets even better: “GIRRRLS! I’m under the mistletoe!!” And the way he says it, he might as well be poking his head through a door that he just chopped through with an axe. Rather than the delighted squeals he gets in response, you expect screams of horror.

And then, finally, it wouldn’t be Christmas without a roaring fire, right? “Heyyyyyy! Now let’s light up the Christmas tree! You ready?” Surely, he has a canister of gasoline in his hand, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find that the most recent “ornament” added to the tree in question was his latest victim, bound and gagged, eyes wide with horror as the Crazed One waves a lit match menacingly.

Somehow, the straight joyfulness of the singing makes it all the more demented. Who knew Ray Conniff had such a dark side?